You're jokin', you're jokin', i can't believe my eyes!

im rediscoverin tv agen.... we got the new sky box wer u can record things witout a video tape or anything, so i been watchin the nightmare before chrismas over and over hahaa love that movy, its so catchy and funny...so much fun watchin it, and corpse bride is on 2morro yippeeeeeeeeeee
oh and theres the vicar of dibley cmin on 2morro or monday, used to watch tht all the tym wen it used to com on.. i kno its a bit predictable n stuff but i still lov watchin it... ahh tv...

and eid mubarak 2 all!

hurricanes

abt half way thru hols alredy... havnt really don neting 2 blog abt... so prepared to be bored mwahahaa....
well i got my hair cut the other day, got a bit carried away and had it cut bit shorter than wot looks good, miss havin longer than waistlong hair... had a laff wid my dear cousin rokiya playin the didgeridoo, its sooo much fun once u figure out how 2 play it, we played nursery rhymes :-D... boing boing... oh and my mum bort me this wonderful jar of honey but it only lastd me a few days mmm how i do love honey but am doin rather well am only on my 2nd jar so far this hol... went 2 c a few frends, and i found out one of my close frends who i used to go shoppin with is pregnant! thts 2 of my frends now, congratulations if i havent alredy sed so but rather u than me! :-P ... speakin of shoppin i cant wait till boxin day, gonna hit meadowhall first, then trafford centre and leeds!!!

jack rabbit slims!!

tht was one hard cwrk tht i had 2 hand in 2day, so damm glad its ova, now i can get bak 2 wot i usually do... jus chill, no work no nothin... jus chill... feels like terms alredy over...well it nearly is now except i got a couple of lects and meetin wid my supervisor...

sooooo
fond memories of this term:
pushing sena around in a tesco trolley singin "don't cry" at som rediculous hour wen normal ppl sleep, hmmm we seem 2 sing tht song alot.... shazia cmin over 4 the weekend us goin midnyt tesco shoppin 4 choclatiness yet agen sleepin at 6am... dancin at habibis... wlkn 2 campus yeh i kno it sounds strange but i quite like my little walks 2 campus, gettin lost as i do so (not literally, i mean in my mind)...

embarassin moments:
jumpin up and screamin in my supervisors office coz ther was a wee spider on me... cnt think of anythin else but rest assured ther was a few moments

oh and u wnt bleev wot fizah sed 2 me the other day- she sed i lookd chubby!! i think she ment my face, do i hav a chubby face? i askd sena but she sed no and saaran sed i hav a big head (on a totally seper8 occasion) compared to the rest of my body... she sed it was a compliment!!

true colours

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness, inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

So sad eyes
Discouraged now
Realize

When this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors, true colors

Cos there's a shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Beautiful, like a rainbow

a normal day

so my landlords finally gonna put curtains in my room! cnt wait! no more lyt blazin in at 7.30am... and also i discoverd 2day tht i can scan my uni card w/out takin it outa my wallet!

button moon

jus got off the phone 2 my family- they went to trafford centre 2 shop and c the fireworks display!! can u bleev tht?! how rude- and 2 trafford centre!

trick or treat?

had trik or treaters com round aall eve, so cute in ther scary lil outfits...
n'tin new 2 blog abt really, im gonna work hard this year i keep tellin mself but its jus not hapnin i jus dnt seem 2 find the time which is wierd coz wen i think abt it i dnt do anything all day... this is not good... ok ok from 2morro...

today is not a good day

thort id do my work last nyt, 4 which the dedline was last friday but then me and sena decided 2 go 2 pics and watch devil wears prada, which was a bit of a waste, not a perticularly good movy then came home and realised id left my keys in my room so i was locked out my room and house so i borrowed senas spare duvet and slept on the sofa... which was actually oddly comfortable... had 2 borrow sultanas clothes coz i didnt wanna wear wot id slept in then i was late for my 9am lecture as usual then on the way home som middle aged woman decided 2 run over my foot! but it seems 2 b ok, dnt think ill bother wid A&E, i can wlk.. limp a bit but wlk...

Eid Mubarak ALL!!!
-Time to restart the diet...

fossil fuel

oh mon cherie, my one tru love how i thort abt u aall day.... all day? nay! all week! nay!! all month!! and then 2nyt i saw u... sittin ther al prety... so sweet so temptn jus as id rememberd only better, cudnt wait 2 hav u all 2 myself, i kno i shudnt bcoz its ramadhan an i was fastin but i was imaginin us meetin all day and wen we did, i had 2 of cors hold myself bak... tis a wicked rd u lead me dwn... bt i cnt wait till we meet agen... c u monday xXx
(i am of corse tlkin abt my Ben&Jerrys fossil fuel...of cors ;-))

dnt b scared dear readers, be honest!

settlin in2 my new place, i lov it!! hous seems 2 b perfect alhamdulillah...
miss my nephew tho, u kno hes 14 months old and he kısses hıs own reflectıon ın the mırror hahahaa so cute... ramadhans goın good... personal projects a bıt of a mess... oh and heres one 4 all to comment on...

descrıbe me ın 1 word, just 1 even ıf u only kno me by blog (pınıyını)

sigh...

so i go bak to cov agen 2morro, ramzan at homes been good all the fried meat and cheese mmmm... disgustingly unhealthy yet disgustingly delicious... my mum thinks (yet agen) that im pruposely not eating properly to lose weight so i sed "mum do i look like i got an eatin disorder?" hahaha i dnt kno y she thinks that after seein me stuff my face...but frm 2morro onwards i shall resume my healthy "5 a day" diet (hopefully), neways best get packin...
oh and is it jus me or are ther alot more polish ppl around?

a mistake?

well i finished my workplacement last week and i really liked it except every1 kept sayin how they wish they didnt do engineering and if they cud do it all over agen they wuddda done marketing or accountin or somthing else. it was a bit scary esp since im not sure i wanna even do engineering... but then agen i did like the placement and there r worse jobs... but i dnt wanna b stuk in a 9-5 office job all my adult life... aarrgghh im soo easily cofused!

workin 9 til 5

decided itd b mor productiv 4 me 2 go 2 work wit my dad (coz my dads a design engineer 4 jaguar) 4 a few weeks then sleepin in till noon evry day so thats wot im doin at mo, gotta wake up at 5am evry mornin tho!! coz its in halewood, near liverpool. wake at 5, set off around 6 and get ther for 7.30, finish at 4, go 2 gym then get home for around 7.15pm, quite tiring as u can imagine but its not bad at all, quite like the place, and meetin new ppl, went 2 jaguar in coventry on thurs, got a mini tour of the SLA lab, i seen the production line at halewood its all good stuff and the scouser accent- u geh used to ih likh!

havin a good time

wel not much 2 say really, enjoyin the hols, went 2 alton towers yday wit bros and sis... the rides dnt seem as fun nemor, dnt get me wrong i still screamed like a mad woman on them but they werent really tht fun... other than that jus doin the usual, out 2 eat, cinemas, shoppin... im gonna make the most of this hol coz i kno tht next years gonna b tough, i did the bare minimum 2 stay on my course this year, alhamdulillah i managed a 2.1 so am still on the 4 year course, that was a miracle so i guess i shudnt change it 2 a 3 year...
oh and i found out that i had camel meat in dubai, in the desert safari, i rember thinkin "wow this lambs very tough" but i jus assumed it was a bit undercooked!

Interesting Facts about Mobiles Phones

1. Emergency Number: The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112.

If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even while the keypad is locked. Try it out.


2. Keys Locked in the Car? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a Mobile Phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone on your mobile phone. Hold your mobile phone about a foot from your car door and have the other person at your home press the Unlock button, holding it near the phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves time for someone to drive your keys to you. Distance is not a problem. You could be hundreds of miles away and if you can reach someone who has the other remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the boot).

Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a mobile phone!"

I still can't work out how your key's get locked in the car with a remote locking key? You need to press the key to lock it.


3. If your Mobile Battery is Very Low and you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger". Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery. To activate the battery, then key-in *3370# your cell will restart with this reserve and your instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.

when in rome...

me and raisa went 2 dubai for a week where there was sun sea sand and ssssssssss.......SHOPPING!! there were mass sales everywhere! i bort some baby pink trewsers, pink summery top... oh how i love shopping but i kno many dont share the same passion so i wont bore u....

other things we did...
had duck
get stalkd
kiss a green budgie on the beak (raisa not me!)
smile awkwardly at strangers (u had 2 b ther)
burn in the desert sun
almost become the 3rd wife (again raisa, not me!)

oh and me and raisa made a deal, i hav to find her a guy with a good accent (i.e. non brummy and non scouser) who can cook and dance (or hav the ability to buy food and entertain) and she'll find me a fit italian/spannish/portuguese footballer... sssooooo if theres an all singin, all dansing chef out there, please speak...

btw raisa, the end of that phrase is ...do as the romans do..

Germany vs Italy

wow cnt beleev i havent blogged abt a single game yet, not even to air my disappointment at argentina and englands exit. i really thort argentina would go furthur, they met germany 2 soon... ah well luck of the draw... and england, well they didnt really play that well during the tournament, had the players but not the strtategy.... i guess now aint a good time to say i briefly thort ronaldo was ok looking heheheee but having both ears pierced on a guy is not so hot... so who to support now?

well i decided 2 support italy 2nyt coz they had the fittest players ;-) (and also i thort their celebrations were quite interesting...grabbing lippi by the neck....throwing water bottles at their own players...) my sister supported germany coz she thrt they had the fittest players... i guess some of the germans wer goodlookin like ballack and that blond one, cant rember which one, schweinsteiger?? but the italiens were generally better looking i thort, grosso, toni and i used to hav a crush on totti during euro 2002 ...but not nemore and buffon used 2 b quite good lookin 2, neways... it was a very interesting game, both teams actually tryin to score a goal, not like tht switzerland ukraine game and there wasnt really much diving so game could flow unlike tht holland protugal game (actually tht game was also entertaining but in a diff way)! and the italians did deserve the win, they kept tryin and tryin and tht grosso goal was a beauty! felt sorry for the germans, poor guys... but i also feel sorry for the italians coz they must b soo worried abt their jobs...i mean with all the scandal with refree buying, ppl "fallin" outa windows and resigning... yeh i think im gonna support italy now hahahaaa for wots left of the tornament...

heheheee i remember in worldcup 94 me and my brother had a £1 bet (yeh thts ryt, £1) on the final, i bet italy would win and my brother bet brazil hahaaaha i rember i was so bitter abt baggio missin that penalty that i refused to pay him the £1...kids...

end of an era :'-(

after som tough negotiation we finally sealed a deal with our new landlord last night at 11.30 with 13 hours 2 go b4 i leave AND ive jus finished packing early! with abt 2 hours 2 spare- im gooood, gonna c a new me next year, studyin thruout the year and doin all the readin am ment to do and who knows mayb ill borrow my first book eva from the library...assumin i make it to next year (ok lets not go down tht road agen)...

im gonna miss livin with these guys, its been a fun year, gone sooo sooo fast, stil rember movin in, our "family" dinners, eatin B&J ice cream wrapped in blankets against the heater, gettin my dreadlocks, affro and then choppin it all off, msia night, fashion show, runnin round cov at night lookin for a house (which was at times quite scary actually) and of course our long convos in the main room oh and our sing alongs hehehehee...sigh... ah well, anytym i need 2 crash on campus, ill kno wer 2 go ;-)

am feelin gooooooodd...

its a new dawn
its a new day
its a new life 4 me

an am feelin gooooooooooooooooddd...

exams r over and i kno i really shudnt b feelin good, wen i think abt it, i cnt bleev how badly ive messed up this year, strtd revisin like 2 weeks b4 the exams, thts 2 weeks to learn the entire years work for the first time, ive neva eva don tht b4, but i thort nw wud b a good tym 2 strt doin tht ;-) dunno y i jus didnt feel the pressure soon enough, oh wen i think bak to som of the exams, i didnt revise at all for one of them, coz i didnt hav the tym, the worse exam ive eva sat! it aint lookin 2 good, think i shud tlk to my personal tutor abt the consequences... but i aint gonna tlk abt tht till results day now oh shoot and i gotta find a place to live 4 next year...

revising

A convo i had a few years ago with my frend who i will refer to as phoebe since shes jus like pheobe (from friends)...
she was tellin me about a guy she likes

me: so what do u see in him?
pheobe: well, he's tall, goodlookin, nice hair, very kind and he's got a great personality and his feet
me: his feet?
phoebe: yeh u kno how with most people the shade of the skin differs as you get to the toes, well his feets all the same shade...

hahahahhahaa tht convo still brings a smile to my face...amazin the things to which yor mind wonders as you revise....hmmm...also kinda worryin actually...

il faut me corriger

je n'avais jamais eu un examen si mal qu'aujourd'hui. je ne pourrais fait rien sans meme une question! je n'avais eu les temps a preparer pour cet examen, c'etait vraiment affreux. hmmm... je n'aurais qu'un mois de vacance avant que je recoive mes resultats et apres... je sais pas... je passerai mes vacances a me fair du mauvais sang...

feel the need to air my woes

me and sena r left homeless 4 next year now since the landlord tried to screw us over and its impossible to find another house now and i messin up my first exam and...i found my rice and barley had ants!!! OMG OMG OMG EWWW EWWW ARRRGHH i jus totally freakd out arrghh then i practically flooded the kitchen tryn 2 drown em and i jump evrytym somthin brushes past me coz it myt b an ant arghh it aint goin well and i burnt my finger, now am jus waitn 4 the delivery guy so i can eat...

quick update

revision aint exactly goin well, im learnin everything from french to accountin to different types of concrete (oh yes, different types of concrete!) wen alls i wantd to learn abt was makin cars an stuff! way things r goin, am not sure ill stil be on the Meng course next year, ah well its probs 4 best, engineerings really boring neways, maybe in wot wud hav been my 4th year ill do somethin totally diff like interior designin!

remind me not 2 hav kids

my mum and my nephew came ova 4 the aftrnoon wylst my dad playd golf, my nephew soo soo fussy and he cries so much, finally got him 2 sleep now, hes sleepin on my bed, 2 scared to make a noise....hope he dnt wake up soon...

wlkn along singin a song

me and sena were walkin along the piazza 2wards the ice cream van when sena som som ppl she knew so she waved 2 them....and walkd in2 a tree!! hahahahhahaahahaa

i really shudnt laff esp with me wlkin in my sandles its mor like step, twist, step, twist, i simply cnt wlk over cobbles or newer wer theres a crack in the path, it used 2 be soo embarassin but now im kinda used to it, i jus stand up straight and carry on wlkin with "dignity"...

old and senile?

2 conversations ive had in the past few months may say so, one was with my little 5 year old cousin mohammed...

mohammed: zaynab...how old r u?
me: 19
mohammed(in his sweet lil voice): so then are you goin 2 b an old lady soon?

the other convo was with this guy...

me: so what r u studyin?
tht guy: morse
me: wot?! as in the moarse code?!?!
tht guy: err no as in Maths......Science and Economics
me: oh...

its a long road up ahead girl

i miss being at home, its a lot less satisfyin stealin chocolates form yor own room. and i heard my nephews jus got his first tooth, i wish i cud jus fast forward my life 7 weeks ahed, past all this revision and exams... i wanna watch ice age 2, and x men 3 (think they got gambit in this one ;-)) and pirates of the caribbean with the twins, i miss tauntin them, its so much fun playin with my little brother (whos actually taller than me!), like wen he's stayn up late on his own to watch tv, id sneak d/stairs and "haunt" him by slowly pushin the door open or flippin the light switches, its soooooo funny, he scares soo easily and its jus sooo funny...words can not describe...
and hes stopped tellin my big brother who he likes, so now i got no way of findin out, my lil sisters still into the whole loyalty thing, they think ill go tellin evry1 and tease him about it which, 2 b fair is quite true hehhehee... ahh younger siblings, ther so much fun!

"mon cherie"

wow im not the only 1 who find gambit sooo incredibly sexy!!!

things i dont like

MIXING MEATS!!

things i like

white chocolate

belgian chocolates

moist choclate cake (i dnt mean moist coz its been out in the sun 2 long like in nepal but moist as in rich)

fresh almond criossants

cheesecake

creme brulee

fox's viennese buiscuits

ice cream

honey

good cup of mocha

spring has sprung, grass is green, i wonder wer the flowers been...or somthin like tht

2day i have been called...

fat by sena
sabong (yeh ther even swearin at me in a foreign lingo now!) by wani
rasist by iffah
and irresponsible by fizah

me thinks i shud go 2 sleep now b4 this list grows nemore 2day...

frustrated, exhausted and depressed

im soo totally gonna fail this year, i got my french oral where i gotta prepare a 10min argument for/against som ethical issue for which i currently dnt hav an opinion for 4 my test on 2nd may, theres tht book am spose to hav red and understood by tues and answered som qs about, french mock, tech sci lab report, the design project which is worth like almost 50% of the module for which im gonna get 0 coz of group issues which i cant afford to get coz i need a 2.1 to carry on on the Meng and if i fail (which seems extremely likely coz of this design project) then i gotta take a year out and resit the exams next summer and theres nothin i can do about it now and theres all that revision i gotta do, 6 or 7 exams each require goin thru like 50 lengthly lectures and all this to do in the next 6 weeks b4 the exams start... im totally screwed. Ssssooooooooooooo mr prince charming, ryt about now wud b a good time to come rescue me...

GOLDEN NUGGETS!!! breakfast cereal

YESSSS MY GOLDEN NUGGETS HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!

back agen

bak 2 cov agen, came bak yestrday, i somehow came bak wit mor stuff then i took, dunno how tht happend, i didnt even go shopping! altho me and raisa did go 2 leeds 4 coffee and 2 try on dresses wed neva buy hehehehe thts always fun, spent all of yestrday unpacking and organisin my stuff- amazin the things u do 2 avoid workin to yor dedlines, i even tried a bit of fengshui and decided raw seafood wasnt 4 me...hehehe kiddin... i almost broke the bookshelf doin it, sure hope the landlord doesnt try movin it agen... :-s

3 words 4 u, "sucks to be...addin a 4th- YOU"

i was watchin scrubs 2day and i suddenly saw myslef in elliot, she was in a situation like i was a bit ago and she handled it jus like i did.... i always try not to tlk much wen i tlk 2 ppl i dnt kno very well but evry once in a wyl, i jus do all the tlkin and tlk a loada crap (like i do on my blog), leavin the person am tlkin 2 thinkin "wot the...." oh the embarassment *cringe*

don't worry, be happy

u kno my sister jus pointd out tht after i tlk i always nod my head and go "tsgood" (its good), i neva realised i did that, ne1 else notice i do that? think i do a lot of things without realisin, i kno i sometimes act out my day dreams which i dnt realise till som1 asks "r u ok??" i gotta try stop doin tht!

oh so much work 2 do... no motivation 2 do it, easter hols goin so fast, im goin bak next week. wish i strtd this lab report 2 months ago wen i knew i had 2 do it, now i got it 2 do and everything else... if i cud jus go bak 2 months, then id.... most probly do nothing different and leave it till now neways hheheeehe.....ah the wonderful world of pneumatics about which i kno nothing ...

thers a few good movies cmin out soon like pirates of the caribbean, ice age 2 alredy out, x-men 3 yes i kno i hate sci fi but xmen was a cartoon i used to watch wen i was little bcoz my big brother did (-u kno how younger siblings copy older ones) and i herd ther makin rocky 6! thts gonna suck so bad, rocky 5 was bad enough, ppl say it was only good up2 part 3 but i personally think they wer good up2 part 4, i liked 4 "thers no easy way out, thers no shortcut home........tutu tututt tutut......"

regrets

one thing i hate is to have regrets... which makes me do things tht i end up regrettin neways....

a u-turn?

i dnt think i wanna b an engineer nemore...in fact i dnt think i eva really wantd 2 b 1, i kno nothing about the subject or hav no interest in it or nething and i kno suprisingly little about cars n stuff...think i chose it bcause i heard somwer along tht u cud earn lots of money and travel a lot coz they got engineerin plants everywer or somthin but i think ud hav 2 b a good engineer 4 tht! i really shudda thort it thru....its soo dam boring. i think id rather b an interior designer. maybe i shud change from 4 year to 3 year... i shud make my mind up a bit soonish...

an estraordinary woman

aysha laher was born on 21st december 1919 in a small villiage of india where the people were extremely conservative and tradional, girls stayed at home trainin to become housewives, she didnt go to school and learnt all she knew from life and from the people around her.

she got married at the age of 14, as was the norm then and she had her first child at the age of 19. but only a few years later, her husband died suddenly and mysteriously leaving her a young widow with a small child- a very unfortunate situation to be in that society especially if you wanted to remarry.

but a few years later she met and married a poor boy from a nearby villiage, and they had 10 children, 5 girls and 5 boys. Her mother didn’t approve of her new husband due to his being poor (it was a very materialistic society and marriage was all about money in that time) so she didn’t help aysha much and they struggled to feed their family, but they worked very hard, and the older children helped a great deal in bringin up their younger siblings, she would hav struggled to marry off her daughters but luckily they were beautiful and they married at a young age.

Fortunately, post war England recruited labour force from India and although aysha’s husband didn’t go due to complications, other Indian men did and they settled there, this gave rise to the opportunity for many Indians including aysha to marry off their children to these immigrants so that their children could go 2 england for a better life. And so a few of ayshas children settled in England.

In 1970, aysha’s husband died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 48, aysha was grief stricken and suffered a mild heart attack. she struggled immensely with her young children who were 6, 8, 10, 12 and 14. the older siblings helped but they themselves were poor and had children of their own.

2 years later her older sons who had settled in England were now able to call aysha and her family to England and so aysha and her 5 children emigrated to England. they stayed with aysha’s 2 sons and their familes… 14 of them in a 3 bedroom house. They moved several times in the next few years and she always lived at her sons house, having so many children ment she never had to live alone.

their life in India had taught them all the meaning of hard work and this earnt them a more comfortable life in the next few decades. Having children early and those traditions gave her the privlidge of being able to see 4 generations as she became a great great grandma and was able to go for hajj.

She suffered some health problems over the years including mild heart attacks and in 2000 aysha suffered renal failure and had to go on renal dialysis, meaning she had to go to the hospital to have her blood dialised for 4 hours, 3 times a week, all year, every year.

In 2001, her oldest daughter was diagnosed with cancer. It was benign so after a very large operation which almost crippled her and after several treatments she recovered but needed to walk with 2 walking sticks.

About a year and half later, her other daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumour (malignant) and after a 10 month battle (operations, cheomo, radiotherapy etc), ther was nothing more they could do but make her comfortable. Watchin her daughter deteriorate and pass away broke ayshas heart.

But aysha carried on. She continued going for dialysis and she looked forward to Sundays when her daughter would bring her to her house after dialysis in the evening and then drop her off home when she wanted to go back home. In January 2006, aysha suffered total renal failure and the dialysis was not working. She was admitted into saint james hospital in leeds where she stayed for the next 10 weeks, imprisoned, blood samples being taken several times a day, new lines for dialysis, a biopsy and an attempted endoscopy…she longed to go home, she was deterorating very rapidly and when she was bearly conscious and struggling to breathe, the doctors said there was nothing more they could do,so as it was her last wish, they baught her home on a Wednesday and she died on the Friday (24th march) after the 2nd jummah prayer azaan with all her family around her, at the age of 86. They buried her next to her daughter.

went as far as leeds and decided not 2 go. i hate my life.

oh...kasian...

im not sure if i shud go 2 prague now with my grandma not bein well, hate 2 bak out so soon 2 the trip but ill jus b thinkin abt my grandma dnt kno wot 2 do... so much simpler wen u wer little and yor prents wud jus tell u wot 2 do...

could it be??

can u beleev, all those weeks of takeouts buried in mozerella, cheesecakes, muffins, eatin out, greasy food etc and i havent put on any xtra weight! infact ive lost like half a pound (which is neither here nor ther but still!), i tld my mum tht and she sed "yeh wellu tend 2 burnit off wen u study so hard" am like "errr....yeh..sure" :-s i soo gotta strt studyin now....wel...from 2morro...

....and i found an interestin bit of gossip which is rare since nthin eva usually happens here, my sisters so resourceful! she always keeps me up2 date bless her but one thing she dnt keep me up2 date on is my lil bro and his "secrets" she reckon she dnt wanna break his trust or som crap like tht, coz he trusts her a lot she says tht he even lets her go in2 his wallet...so i told her, he lets me go in2 his wallet 2! as long as he dnt kno abt it.... heheee yeh i kno xactly wer he hides his wallet in tht mess he calls his room, he dnt tell me nething but my big bro always fills me in hahahahaa... serves him right for tellin every1 but me!

time to wake up and smell the coffee

end of term now, im goin bak up north 2morro night for a week, then am off 2 prague for 5 days (yeh i kno i sed i wasnt gonna go newer at easter and jus "study" the entire time but..err... im goin 2 prague now :-D) then bak home for 3 weeks then cmin bak 2 uni inshallah.

this weeks been rather cruel 2 me jus want the week 2 b ova but i know, everything happens 4 the greater good.....lookin 4ward 2 seein the family agen and esp lil H. spose 2 be goin out 2 eat 2nyt...meetin them in abt 20 mins actually. i cant rember last tym i cooked, i havent been eatin healthily these past few weeks, eatin out, take outs, crappy campus food... ok i shud get goin a bit soonish...ciao 4 now

does wot i say make sense to the less crazy ppl?

fun day 2day, had pizza wid isoc girls, then went round shoppin area wid fizah, tryn on dresses wed neva buy heheehe and fizah, dunno if u read my blog but if u do- im truly sorry abt the whole Mr. F situation...

....then we watched dikir barat, the msia night one i wantd 2 c it from the audiences perspectiv and then sena called me up abt seein som houses in canon park 4 september, we r well n truly screwed still havnt found a house but lets nt focus on tht... so yeh we were wlkn round canley singin, its quite a scary place at night but singin makes it seem nicer heheheee

dunno how sena does it but she can jus tlk to ne1, im tlkin total strangers and evrything and jus make conversation, its a well ace talent, i guess im more reserved, ther r som ppl tht u can jus tlk 2, i guess with a lot of ppl i can jus tlk and convo jus flows but wi som ppl, omg soo soo hard, i try but after a wyl i jus dnt kno wot 2 say and then its awkward and wen u do think of somthin 2 say, u dnt wana bcoz maybe theyl judge u (u kno who u r, if u read this blog ;-) )

....neways i digress....so then after wlkin 4 like aages we wer hungry so went 2 tescos 2 get somthin 2 eat, bort muffins but we didnt wanna cook so then we decided 2 go 2 nandos (for the vegetarian stuff) luckily we didnt go ther 2 late they wer still servin, clearin up, but still servin, i always hav a laff wi sena she tried to convince me again that the chips they serve, they mash and shape to get teh soft centre im like "wooooottt????" whoever herd of somthin so rediculous! hehehe mash and shape they do tht for waffles and smiley faces and alphabets but not for chips! i told her they jus peel, chop n fry!! we even askd the waiter and he sed peel, chop n fry! but senas still unconvinced...

new prayer room

went 2 openin of new prayer room 2day it's quite big with a kitchen, toilets and a lil libry, alhamdulillah. they had som good speakers at the ceremony, and i met yvonne ridley, felt quite honoured to meet her, u may recognise her name coz it was all over the media few years ago she's a journalist who was captured by the taliban and held captive, they let her go on the condition that she look up the quraan which she did and converted to islam my mum told me about her story wen it happend, wudda been nice 4 my mum 2 hav met her.

with or without you

See the stone set in your eyes

See the thorn twist in your side

I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate

On a bed of nails she makes me wait

And I wait without you

With or without you

With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more

And I'm waiting for you

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give

And you give

And you give yourself away

My hands are tied

My body bruised, she's got me with

Nothing to win and

Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give

And you give

And you give yourself away

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

With or without you

househuntin

jus been househuntin agen but 2 no avail... only saw like 2 outa the 7 i wanted 2 c and even then 1 of them turned out 2 b a house id alredy been 2 c b4, didnt realise till i saw one of the tenants so yeh tht was kinda embarassin but it wasn't a total loss- i found out who stole our bin! been missin for like nearly a month

do u know the muffin man?

yes that's right am feelin fat again so let me confess my sinful eatin...

i went out with frends on friday with the best of intentions, and one thing led to another and me and shazia ended up runnin round campus at 2am then we went 2 tescos or shud i say danced there hehehe and we bort: a whole cheesecake, B&J cookie dough ice cream!, nachos & dip, cake slices and am sure ive for gotted some things... and it wylst watchin the incredibles! such a cute movy i love animated movies like tht, i sooo wanna watch chicken little! apparently JD from scrubs does his voice, so yeh we ended up sleepin at 6.30am hehehee and for brekfast we had mini muffins and milk wylst watchin shrek then i came home and in the evenin, me, iffah and wani had a takeout, i had a chicken burger with cheese which wasn't tht good- not worth the calories but 2days a different day....healthier!!

shabbir ally vs peter atkins

thats a debate i went 2 on thursday, think its the first debate i eva been 2 actually! im not usually in2 talks and debates and stuff but they're 2 very renowned speakers and were debating the q "does god exist?" i was quite disappointed actually, i didn't find it satisfying and peter atkins obvious pride was 2 much, he didnt seem 2 hav studied islam at all, not 2 any gr8 depth neways and he was 2 dismissiv, wen it came 2 the crunch, all he sed was "science hasn't yet found an answer" which was a disappointin response and i didnt like the way he kept avoidin his task like tht with things like "why should i prove ther isnt a god, u not proving there is one is proof enough" that's jus twistin it around and reflectin the light from yorself, i expected better of him, a supposedly very strong academic and i also thort shabbir ally shud have posed the q based on the miracles of the quraan, the more obvious miracles.

the reason i went 2 the debate was 2 hear the rsponse of such a strong athiest, who's soo "practical" and beleevs miracles hav neva happend 2 answer this about the quraan...

"the quraan talks about modern discoveries such as the fact that it is impossible for 2 people even identicle twins to have the same fingerprints (discoverd only last century), about the moon, earth and sun being in orbit, about oceanic density- the 2 seas that meet but never mix, about the precise development of a featus in the mothers womb, and many more scientific facts like this (cloud and rain, etc). how could an illiterate man living 1400 years ago in the middle of the arabian desert possibly know all this if it wasn't a devine revelation from the almighty?"

i really wanted 2 hear peter atkins response 2 that and was disappointed that he wasn't confronted with that q and with his answer's to some of the q like when a boy from the floor askd him about blood clotting, from wot i cud hear he askd, how cud it be that blood clotting in humans occurs impossibly fast because there's soo many chemicals in the body, how can they be constantly in balance when clotting is required?" peter atkins response was that if all the componants needed for the clotting's are already present...yes but sooo many chemicals, how can they be in constant balanced, "released" inthe right amount at the right time.... because of human nature, nature and evolution ensures that it's done correctly. to me that sounded like he replaced god with the word nature nature. to me this promptd the q, so what drives evolution? is it a random accident? if the "1st draft" is bad and the 2nd draft is an improvement is it jus randomly better? what's the intelligence that drives nature, it can't be chance that the future versions are just randomly better. it was disappointing that peter atkins wasn't confronted with such things.

wednesday

soooo sooo cold 2day, i got home and decided it was 2 cold 2 go out agen, we hung out in my housemates room where the convo startd off quite intelligent but then we ended up tlkin a loada crap hehehehee meeooooowww ;-)

and then i was spose 2 call sena 2 go househuntin and 2 the post msia nyt thing but soo cold so i didnt bothr and i fell asleep for a few hours...... then i decided i wantd 2 bake a cake oooooooooo speakin of which, it shud be done ryt about now.........

a couple more lb's...

the whole healthy eatin thing is sooooo not goin 2 plan, the other day i bumpd in2 hauwa and shazia and we went 2 cov and 2 hauwa's place wer we cilled all evenin and consumed an entire large tub of choc mousse we bort form M&S it was sooo gooood, wyt choc and browny pieces with a rich choc sauce....... then we stayed there the night and in the mornin hauwa made pancakes, layers of whipped cream and maple syrup with fresh raspberries on top (otherwise it wudda been unhealthy) hehehe yeh so yor gonna b hearin mor of me cmplainin abt getin fat!

so wot else.......... went on a plutonic date 2day and watched the LAMEst movy eva! i didnt wanna watch it but it was the only movy on and i had ice cream which i havent had in a long time and 2morro am goin 2 cadbury world!!!

withdrawal symptoms

ohhh how i miss dikir barat practices...

"coz baby ther aint no mountain high enough! wooo!
aint no valley low enough...
aint no river, wide enough...
2 keep me from gettin 2 u..."

and of course my favorite ewa buleh "ala ewaaaaa.."

so msia night went well shame the dikir barat was ova in a flash, made a few mistakes but no1 noticed ;-) was sooo hungry after so we ordred a couple of pizzas and chilled yeh i kno im gonna get soo fat, i think i put on like 2" around my waiste already, so easy 2 gain so hard 2 lose- moment on the lips, 4eva on the hips! where hav i heard tht?

u kno i got bak straight after my lecture 2day abt 5.45 and now its like nearly 10.30 and i hav no idea wot i did in that time, think a combination of watchin old episodes of frends, tlkin 2 frends, and of cors corry st and eastenders which seems 2 b getin soo boring now cnt beleev i sat thru an hour of tht!
oh maaaaaaaan y cnt i make myself do all tht work am spose 2 do (thank goodness i dnt liv at home, my dad wud send me on a few guilt trips)....... or maybe i need tht 2 do work, yeh its quite worryn thinkin abt all the work i haven't don this year, i can't recall a single lecture wer i acually payed attention/ listend 2 the stuff bein said, apart from a couple of the french lectures so yeh i got quite a few things 2 cover...everything actually and i got tht french cwrk 2 do... and i cant hide behind msia nightt practices nemore oh noooooo :'(

nothing like the smell of a burnt croissant in the morning...

the dance is finally growin on me, jus hope i dnt make any mistakes 2morro night/2night and i dnt get nervous or that my batik (like a sarong) dont slip off! u kno im gonna miss dikir practices, as tiring as they were, they wer also fun. now its time 2 face up2 the fact that im a 2nd year engineerin undergrad tht dont kno nething abt engineerin... :-s

shudn't it all b comin 2gether by now?

i went home this weekend 2 c my grandma who's in hospital, so glad i went i think she felt happy 2 c me... kinda funny how my grandma always calls me/refers 2 me as "pori" (girl), like if she's wonderin where i am "where's the girl gone?" or if she's askin me wot im doin "wot u doin, girl?" guess it's actually bit offensive but i dnt mind bless her :-)

so i weighed myself and i've lost like 3lb altho a couple slices of cheesecake, almond croissants and a late nyt take out myt say different hehee........ man i been up since 7 2day, had 2 catch train bak this mornin, saw some teenagers gettin hi on my travels, they askd me 2 change a pound, so i exchanged a pound and gave a lil extra and they gave me a few joints and i got skkyyyy hyyyy an i cud flyyyyyyy hehheehahahaa..... jus jokin... i wud neva get hi at a bus stop! (joke!!) oh and also im finaly up2 date with the french novel, red up2 wer i was spose 2!!! (Cud this b a new beginning 4 me?) didnt understand half of it but at least i read it!!

also had dance and dikir practices till 11pm, i seem 2 miss the dance practice no matter how erly i go, cant even do it properly bcoz i dnt like the dance, i feel really stupid doin it but i kno i gotta suk it up, my parts v small neways, gotta perfect it b4 satrday and i need 2 find a plain baju kurong (traditional malay dress) hope 1 of my housmates has 1.....

i tell him, i tell him not...i tell him!

man i feel soooo sick with all the junk food i been eatin, last time i had a healthy meal was on mond wen esra cooked 4 me and hauwa, b4 that i cant even remember, i havent cooked properly in ages, i dnt own much food at the mo, jus 3 eggs, pistachios, choclates, dates and som cereal....havent had time 2 go shoppin but im gonna make time 2morro, first thing in the morning!

u kno i used 2 b on a 5 fruit and veg a day diet, that means 10 portions in total! i been doin that on and off for the past 5 years or so....of course it was only a couple weeks ago when i convinced my frend to start the 5 a day diet that i learnt it means 5 fruit and veg combined not 5 of each! hahahahaa so stupid, ah well at least i neva suffered from teen acne hehehee, but i sooo need to strt tht up agen, i actually feel unhealthy esp coz i only do steps once a week and even then the instructors pretty crap, so slow and its not choreographed very well at all.
bak home the class was soo challenging, at the peak id struggle to keep up with the high level and then id b that much better each time i went, and eventually id really feel so fit and healthy and happy wen i cud keep up...i miss that feeling, right now, there's no way i cud keep up with one of those classes, bet ive put onlike 5 pounds, ok sena, we deffo hav 2 stop meetin evryday for lunch.....well i guess we hav 2 eat lunch but deffo gotta stop meetin 4 hot choc & cake everyday!

strange how ppl com and go in life

just sed goodbye to fatima, a post grad who was here 4 a year from tanzania, she graduated a couple days ago and she'l b goin bak 2 tanzania 2morro, dnt think ill eva c her agen, but ill drop her a line next time im in tanzania! guess shel get a job and get married now.....im soo far away from bein at tht stage in life aint even half way thru my course, she's 8 or 9 years older than me, wonder wot ill be doin in 8 or 9 years... i dnt wanna do a phd or nething, dunno wot i wanna do, my dad reckons i shud kno, or hav som plan on wot 2 do in future -guess ill either take a year out or i wont, either ill get married or i wont... i dnt usually plan 2 far ahed

get yor act 2gether!

went home 2 c my prents this weekend, missed the connectin train at manchester on way ther (damm those shops and starbucks!!) and the 1st train on way bak (err... cnt really blame nething 4 tht) and now am feelin but worried 4 not studyin, i haven't studied at all this term or last term, beeen soo distractd. had a 9am lab on friday, woke up at 9am, got ther like 40 mins late, altho im glad i did, 2 hour lab i wuda got sooooo borrrd and i got a 9am lab 2morro mornin 2 im gonna try get ther on tym tho. whoeva thort of 9am labs?? and im gonna read tht french novel, was sposed 2 read up2 pg 76 by last tuesday but im sill on page 2 no wait... page 3 :-) and i dnt kno wot on earths hapnin wid my generator project, i will email the group abt tht but they seem 2 kno wot ther doin.... im deffo gonna get 0 for contribution! and im gonna try work out wot the hells goin on in lectures this week and wot we shud hav learnt by now...i swear im non the wiser abt engineerin from wen i first strtd uni! curse this short attention span!!

title

fashion show 2morro or shud i say 2day, i jus hope i dnt trip on catwlk like carry bradshaw did, rember tht episode? aaanyhoo im wearin a beautiful pink turkish dress tht looks like somthin out of a fairy tale reminds of wen i had xtra long hair and my mum sed i look like a princess...speakn of which my prents got bak last nyt, ill b goin up north 2 c them on satrday, bort my train tickets last week- how organised am i :-D :-D :-D

lil update

been bit bzy lately wid lectures, business plan, aerobics, and fashion show practice (my 10 second contribution to one world week hehehe) u kno the other day in fashion show practice 1 of the execs tried to get me to do this shaking hips dirty dancing thing with one of the guys but i told her- its not hapnin, the cheek of it!
and i also go 2 dikir barat practices its a malaysian thing, dunno how 2 describe it... u sit down in rows and do a synchronised clap and dance thing it looks v impressive and its soo much fun!

eid ul adha

dunno y didnt feel like eid 2day, had 2 do work but that was my own fault really, shuda don it in hols and it was my first eid away from home and u wont beleev my family oooo dinner...

back...so wer was i?? o yeh, u wnt beleev my family didn't even call me, can u beleev that! soo rude! but i called them anyways. didn't really do nething "eidy" 2day but we did jus hav a big meal 2gether, it was fun, we had a laff, times ill remember la...sorry housemates i wasnt much company 2nyt jus soo tireddd.....havent been eatin hardly nething past few days, dnt worry im not turnin anorexic or nethin jus dnt feel hungry but i do feel sleeeeppyyyy.....arrghh so much 2 do.........

EID MUBARAK/ SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!

friends

i been getin som stik for not mentionin my frends in my blog, and i aim 2 please my readers so ill try include my frends more :-) keep the feedback abt the blog comin!

2day, i didnt bother runnin for the bus wen i saw it and i missed it, was only like 10 mins late tho but ppl tend 2 notice u wlkn in 10 mins late wen the lecture strts on time.

i wore the pashmina sena bort me 2day its sooo soft and beautiful thank uuuuuuu!!! sena's 1 of my closest frnds at uni (saarans also one of my good frends), and i can't beleev i havent even mentioned any of the times we went out or had dinner or nething sowwyyyyy...

and i finally did my maths cwrk 2day! workd on it with a coursemate dais, we somtyms work 2gethr we can b alike wen it comes 2 work, we're not the brightest in the class, or the most hardworking, or attentive, or committed, or organised and we're quite simple minded, we don't think 2 deeply about any of the qs or anything and we tend 2 digress somtyms but we have a good laff hehehee

we (me and my lovely hosuemates) orderd a pizza 2day tho it was more cheese on bread, didn't taste 2 good, wnt b orderin from ther agen! but we had fun non the less and wani- wash yor mouth out with soap! u call yorself a lady?!

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake

For those of you tht moan tht i neva come over, bake this baby and ill b straight over!!

INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 cups finely crushed chocolate wafer cookies
1 cup white sugar
1/4 cup melted butter
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, diced
2 cups sour cream
3 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
2 teaspoons white sugar


DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

Mix the chocolate wafer cookie crumbs with 2 tablespoons of the white sugar, and the melted butter. Press firmly into the bottom and 1/2 inch up the sides of one 9 inch springform pan. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for about 8 minutes.

To Make Cookie Dough: In a bowl beat 1/4 cup butter or margarine with the brown sugar and 1/4 cup of the white sugar. Stir in the water and 1 teaspoon of the vanilla. Beat in the flour and the semisweet chocolate chips. Stir until combined.

To Make Cheesecake: In a food processor or with a mixer beat 1 cup of the white sugar, and all the cream cheese. Add 1 cup of the sour cream, the eggs, and 1 teaspoon of the vanilla. Mix well and pour into prepared crust.

Drop cookie dough in 2 tablespoon portions evenly over the top of the cake, pushing dough beneath the surface. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for about 40 minutes. Cake will jiggle slightly in center. Spread topping over hot cake. Let cake cool than chill in a refrigerator until cold, at least 4 hours.

To Make Topping: Mix the remaining 1 cup sour cream, 1 teaspoon vanilla, and the 2 teaspoons white sugar until smooth. Spread over hot cake.

from http://cake.allrecipes.com/az/ChcltChpCkDghChsck.asp (incase they try to sue me!)

here i am

back in cov agen, my very nice uncle gave me a lift down. he seemed slightly concerned wen i sed i dnt hav a clue wer ill b livin from september onwards, well actually i kno itll b somwer in coventry (hopefully) got loadsa time yet...

my housmates were suprised to see my waistlong braids replaced with short straight layers, though this surprised reaction seemed more positive then wen i came home with the braids heheheee
maaaaaaaan, the hols jus flew by, the box of books i took home to read was a waste, baught it back untouched! i didnt even get round 2 strtin my business plan, or learnin the work 2 do the maths cwrk or readin tht french book i was spose to read. i did however start watchin lost, its quite interesting, mysterious and sawyers quite nice 2 hehehee, i really wudnt mind bein lost on a tropical island somwer right now...