typical woman driver

is it jus me or is any1 els tired of them blond jokes? now im not blond so ther not offensiv 2 me, and they wer even funny at first but now evry tym i hear another blond joke its like, yes, ok, i get it, blonds r thick...i mean my god, how many "artistically" different ways can u say the same thing?!
another 1 which im startn to find a wee bit offensive is "typical woman driver."
now dnt get me wrong, i'm quite a chilled out sorta person so ill usually not say anythin, i myt even laff along. but wen its the 53rd time u've herd it that week, somthings gotta giv...my cousin happend 2 say it that 53rd time, so i thort ok, he seems rather convinced, perhaps i shud lightly challenge him, i cnt rember wot i sed but i didnt quote any numbers (bcoz i dnt carry those vital statistics in my head) and we had a lil discussion and as it turns out, its actually not as simple as "no woman can drive, all men can" there's a few hidden clauses in there, its really, "no woman can drive, all men can... (now this is the good part) EXCEPT white van drivers, bus drivers, any heavy goods vehicle drivers, taxi drivers, sports car drivers, young men, old men, freshies..." and i'm guessin ginger guys are probly excused as well? or perhaps men wearin the colour blue???
So in conclusion, the only people that can actually drive is a very elite group of middle aged men who: are not too old nor too young, who don't drive taxis, buses, sports cars or any HGV and who live in designated countries. well i was so glad i got that cleared up, finally! an explanation for the 50 car pile up i see every 200yards i walk down.

its not me that's wierd, its every1 else!

so this is the final year of my degree about to start, i was thinkin last nyt wot id like to do next year, i want to take abt 6-7 months off b4 i start workin and if this was an ideal world here's a few things id love to do in that time:-

• Hajj & umra
• spend 6 weeks in malaysia, singapore, brunei and indonesia
• trek the inca trail
• go to Istanbul
• and the most exciting one- ARCTIC EXPERIENCE with lars felt (a Ray Mears course)

of course the arctic experience is one of the ones id most like to do but am least likely to (bcoz its 2k excluding flights!) and bcoz my dad wud neva let me go alone.
so i then thort at what age can an indian girl in mount p say "look dad, am Xyrs old now so am gonna do what I want"? what if (god forbid) i was a 40 year old spinster still livin at home?
cud i then say "look dad, am 40 years old so am gonna go on the Ray Mears Arctic expedition wether u like it or not!”? actually, wud a 40 year old Indian girl eva say that?
Ive always been a bit different to all my frends around here, eva since I was little I wanted to be (dnt laff) a traveller, a nomad jus wondering around from place to place, then after I watched snatch wen I was 16, I wantd to b a gypsie! Now I wanna b a pirate after watchin pirates of the caribean (part 1 that is, the rest wernt tht good) I find it interesting how even tho jack sparrow has manky teeth, make up, excess facial hair and platted beard he still somehow manages to be sexy, cnt quite put my finger on it…neways I digress.
So like I was sayin, im quite different to the girls round here, I cant do the whole GHD/undercover boyfriend thing bcoz its bad for my hair and the best that can lead to is getting married to some lad from yor junior skool and move 2 streets away into yor mother inlaws house (or if yor very lucky to the house next door to yor mother in law) then buy a house nearby, have kids and spend resta yor life working off the mortgage… how depressing. But the strange thing is, every1 around me is ok with that! My frends, my prents… so I thort I met ppl mor like me at uni, but im soo not like them, ther all soo… decent; they do what ther supposed to, ther sensible they live a good life and good on them, fair play to them and as much as id like 2 b, im not quite like them. I kno that if they knew everything about me, they probly wudnt look the same way at me (not that im that bad, am a good girl really ;). But ther jus that good...i guess). Im not tryin to deceive them or any1 and im not tryn to hide anything but I was jus tryn to fit in but am quite different to them as well.

So to summarise, I’m quite weird… wow this soo loks like a post ill be tempted to delete but if deleted all the posts i thort make me look like an arse, i wudnt have a blog...hehee

when did he get 2 b such a handful?

my 2 yrs old nephews becom a real handful lately...
i thort id take him for a walk the other day, u know, show him the sites and scenes of heckmondwike, so ther we wer merily walkin along, then he wanted to cross the road and i sed no..... so he threw a tantrum and lay down ryt ther on the street! he startd kickin and hittin me wen i pickd him up, i sed a few stern words and managed to make him stop but wen i turnd round ther was a car full of guys watchin, it was soo embarassin!

neways, hows everyone doin with al the fastin? im bit worried abt my fitness coz i finally got it up2 wot is probably considered average and in fact, wen i woke up the other day, i was able to do 1 (yes ONE!) whole press up!!! i was so excited and i definately dnt wanna fall below that! but to keep up my fitness i have to do hi impact exercise but i dnt wanna get dehydrated, hmm...i guess jus once or twice a week should be ok. id go to the gym but i alredy tld few ppl ther that i won't b comin for a while and sed bye so i cnt very well go waltzin back!
though i am constructin my very own "do it at home" circuit trainin type regime but i know i wont stick to it (if i ever do start it!), it consists of runnin up and down the stairs, skippin, star jumps, ab crunches and my favorite....the plank!

the plank is an exercise that's very good for yor abs and 6 pack, what u do is u lay down flat on the ground faced down, u have both yor elbows directly beneath yor shoulders, clasp yor hands in front, dig yor toes into the floor and suck yor tummy in so that yor body is parallel to the floor in a straight line a bit like...well, a plank. do that for 30s, rest for 15s, then agen for 30s. usually yor 30s tallys up to 2mins, then it gets boring. but the more often u do it, the longer u shud be able to do it for, i usually do it after a work out and i dnt have manly strength so i can only total 1min 30s

RAMADHAN MUBARAK EVERYONE!!!